Letter to my Former Self

Dear Madie,

I know you've just left your adviser's office at the university, headphones in, and you're internally processing the huge switch you just made in your college career. Graphic design to teaching? Big switch from what you always thought you were going to do. Your brain is clouded with uncertainty, insecurity - you're scared, but you're heading the right direction.

But I can't lie to you.
Things are really going to suck for awhile.
Honestly, it's going to be the hardest thing you've faced in your life - waking up one day to lose your dad - never forgetting how that day felt, moving, taking care of your mom, figuring out your finances - you're going to feel your grades slip. Everything will feel like its crashing down around you - you're scared, but you're heading the right direction.

And on top of that, you're going to feel very awkward and insecure for awhile. You'll stutter in front of large groups of people. You'll go blank at the front of the room. You'll wonder if you're even in the right career field. I promise, you will find your way through the attitudes and the eye rolls. The confidence will come, just please get out of bed. Always remember that you are a fighter.

You will realize how much this fight was worth it: sitting here holding notes the freshmen from student teaching wrote you. One says, "you are a great teacher because you care about us. You take time to learn about all of us. I have learned so much."

You will make students laugh, even though sometimes they will be laughing at you.
You will see grades improve.
You will spark passion in students for reading and writing - one will even tell you that they enjoy reading now.
You are exactly where you need to be.

The best part?
It's only the beginning.
And for the days you feel defeated always remember this:
 "The sun will rise and we will try again"

Your dad would be so proud of who you've become.

Love,
Your Future Self